Okay, so I've been falling down in major way on this blog. Every time I think about, I'm either far too busy to deal with it, or far to depressed to write about anything worth writing. As of late, I've been in a bit of a bipolar stage of my development. I've either been as high on life I'm getting nose bleeds or so far beneath rock bottom I've ended up in China.
On the bright side, I think I've figured out just I want to do with this blog. I'm going to approach this whole 'blogging' thing the same way I approach everything else; like I don't care what other people think.
Of coarse, this isn't the case, I'm terrified of rejection and desolation. However, I've discovered that if you give off the appearance that you don't care weather or not the world hates you, many people will cling to you because of your air of confidence. Once people think you're a strong and independent person, they'll feel the need to tell you that. Once you've started to hear it for a while, it will start to stick. We are what we make ourselves to be, and as such we are products of our own mind.
I often find myself falling into this awful, swirling, doubtful abyss of philosophy, whence the above paragraph. I can't quite figure out what I really want out of life, so I do a lot of thinking on what I should be wanting out of life. I've been told that I seem like a very very smart person, but I've also been told I'm not smart enough to get anywhere. I mostly tend to believe the latter, because of my dyslexia, and the fact that I suck at math. I also have a tendency to be harder on myself then I am on anyone else, so I often think of my emotions as petty and foolish. This is why I don't ask for help often.
I'm going to end this post here and likely post another today. Before I go, I'd just like to say I'm really glad I started this up again, even if I am just posting to an empty network.
Sincerely, Alex.
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